Five Times Jagged Stone Jumped Through a Window
by RicardianScholar Clark-Weasley
Summary: Inspired by Party Crasher. Jagged Stone likes to take a more exciting route when entering - or leaving - a building.


**1\. Through Chloe's Bedroom Window**

"YOU'VE BEEN A ROCK N' ROLL AUDIENCE TONIGHT PARIS!" Jagged bellowed over the cheers and screams of his adoring fans. "THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!"

His fans screamed even louder as Jagged bowed before them. The sound was utterly deafening as Jagged could have sworn he felt the stage beneath his feet shake from the rock n' roll noise._ This was,_ Jagged decided with a grin, _the ultimate natural rock n' roll high._

His getaway helicopter roared loudly above him as the ladder rolled down through the air for Jagged to catch.

His exit of the stadium had to be extra rock n' roll as Paris was currently his home and all-time favourite city.

His fans screamed excitedly to such a level that Jagged was convinced only dogs could hear them now. He grinned wildly back at them and blew them all a rock n' roll kiss before the helicopter lifted him up into the air. Jagged knew that he ought to have climbed up the ladder and crawl into the helicopter where it would be uncool and safe and sound, but there was a rock n' roll breeze in his hair and Paris was always beautiful at night.

So Jagged leaned back and whooped loudly as he enjoyed the ride.

"Jagged!" Penny called out from the helicopter door. "You need to get into the helicopter. We're nearly at the hotel and they can't land if you're still hanging out on the ladder."

"Argh, Penny!" Jagged whined. "That's _so _un-rock n' roll!"

"It's _health and safety_, Jagged!" Penny reminded him sternly.

"It's_ boring!_" Jagged complain. "And doesn't fit in my image of an awesome rock n' roll star. _I know_! Just hover by the hotel and I'll jump through the window, it'll be brilliantly rock n' roll!"

"WHAT?!" Penny screeched. "Jagged, don't you dare-"

But the opportunity for Jagged's plan arose before Penny could even finish scolding him and Jagged seized the moment right away. He used his own body weight to swing the ladder back and as it swung forwards towards the hotel, he leaped into the air.

There was a brilliant, amazing, freeing moment where he flew in the air like a rock n' roll hero and then -

**THUMP!**

Thankfully, Jagged must have forgotten to close his bedroom window in his penthouse which he must confess he had not considered until mid-leap, and he sailed right through the window and landed hard on the soft carpet floors. So hard that he might have made an actual dent in the floorboards beneath the carpet and bruised a couple ribs but it was totally _worth it! _

"_Urgh_!" a bratty groan could be heard. "Doesn't anybody in this damn city understand the concept of _**BEAUTY SLEEP**_?!"

Unfortunately, as Jagged quickly realised as he slowly turned round to face the girl behind him, it was more than likely that Jagged did close his bedroom window because this was most certainly not his bedroom or penthouse.

The sight before him was horrifying.

And not just because it was a teenage girl in skimpy yellow tank top and tiny shorts to match (boy would that be an un-rock n' roll legal case waiting to happen) but because it was a teenage girl covered with green goop on her face, like a swamp monster, and hair held in separate pieces of what Jagged could only assume where some sort of rollers. She looked like a terrifying alien from a B-movie.

To add to the terror of it all, there was no doubt that those strident tones belonged to one Chloe Bourgeois.

"**ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**!" Jagged screamed. "DON'T ASK ME FOR ANOTHER DATE WITH ADRI-KINS, I BEG YOU!"

"_**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**_!" Chloe screamed shrilly. "DADDY THERE'S A STRANGE MAN IN MY BEDROOM!"

It is needless to say that Jagged Stone's night ended in an incredibly un-rock n' roll note as the security team of the hotel tackled and pepper-sprayed him to the ground.

It was only because Penny promised they could charge them more on room service that Jagged wasn't banished from the hotel.

Or worse, _arrested. _

It is also needless to say that Penny was incredibly un-rock n' roll unimpressed with the whole event as well.

Being an artist was so difficult sometimes...

**2\. To Escape A Meeting**

Jagged was _bored!_

So very, utterly, un-rock n' roll bored. In fact, he was so bored that Jagged may just announce he was joining a bubblegum pop boy band and is now to be called Jamie on Twitter just to troll his awesome fans.

Oh, _all right!_

He wouldn't.

_But only because trolling people is totally un-rock n' roll!_

However there was only so much droning about numbers and sales and other boring un-rock n' roll stuff Jagged could take before he snapped. Which was _right now! _As executive guy number three opened his mouth, Jagged jumped out of his chair and let it fall onto the floor as he posed dramatically.

"I can't take this any more!" Jagged yelled. "This is so _un-rock n' roll!_"

Penny face-palmed while the boring suited men stared at Jagged with flabbergasted facial expressions.

Jagged took that as his cue to escape and promptly jumped out of the large, open, window.

"JAGGED!" Penny screeched.

Unlike some of Jagged's previous impulsive leaps into (or out of) windows, Jagged had done his rock n' roll homework of the window before and had smoothly jumped aside in order to cling onto the drain pipe. He then shimmied (slowly because it turned out leather trousers were not made for shimmying down drain pipes and his thighs were burning in a _totally un-rock n' roll way_!) down the drain pipe to freedom.

He landed on his feet on the pavement and cheered in triumph for a successful mission and promptly turned round to -

"**EEK!**" Jagged screamed.

Unfortunately he didn't shimmy fast enough as the moment he turned round to run through the streets of Paris, Penny was standing there with her arms crossed and face set with a fierce frown.

"_Jagged!_" Penny hissed furiously. "This is _your _record label meeting for your brand new label for artists who want to be true to themselves. You march right back there and do the work or _so help me God_, the real name will be used in front of the press."

"Aw _Penny_!" Jagged whined. "Not _that_, it's not real any more. I legally changed it, remember?"

Penny gave him _The Look _over her glasses and instantly any rock n' roll rebellious feeling died and instant death as Jagged allowed himself to be marched back into the meeting.

In the end it was worth it but it was still incredibly un-rock n' roll boring to get there.

**3\. Through The Classroom Window**

Jagged Stone was a man on a mission.

He had – _because Penny nagged him to_ – gone through the proper channels this time and had the rare, rock n' roll, opportunity to hang-glide off of the Eiffel Tower. It was, of course, taken to be some publicity stunt and there were photographers taking photos, cameramen filming on behalf of their news channel, and annoying un-rock n' roll questions which Jagged evaded with rock n' roll politeness like a pro.

It wasn't their fault that Penny sold it as a publicity stunt so he could have his ultra rock n' roll entry.

And it was only for a few seconds before Jagged made his great escape and proceeded with his mission. Jagged stepped up onto the railings with his glide all into place and waited for Penny to give him the signal to go. He breathed in the fresh air that drifted through the city on a strong but good breeze, and grinned manically.

Penny lifted her thumbs up to indicate he could go.

Jagged jumped off of the Eiffel Tower.

There was a moment where he plunged down completely – and boy was that _thrilling!_ \- and then the hang-glider lifted up and Jagged was gliding across the city like a bird. It took no time at all for him to use his weight to tilt the glide from right to left in order to make turnings. He flew past buildings, heard cheers and gasps from the crowds below him (though inside his mind he totally had that rock n' roll classic, Valkyrie by Wagner playing in his head), and could virtually feel every eye in Paris upon him.

He ignored it all as he swooped into the grounds of his target.

He was almost there.

So close.

_Just a little more_...

**CRASH!**

Jagged hadn't thought this through at all – he realised far too belatedly – as his hang-glider crashed into the red brick of Collège Françoise Dupont. However, luckily for him, Jagged was quick on his feet like a cat ninja and hastily used the bar of his hang-glider to swing himself through the window.

_**SMASH!**_

...which as the classroom, Jagged, the desks, and the poor student all got showered in glass, Jagged also realised was firmly shut.

Oh well.

It was a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things.

After all he had, Jagged realised with a gleeful grin as his eyes landed on a gobsmacked Marinette Dupain-Cheng, achieved his goal of an epic entry to Marinette's classroom with immense rock n' roll success.

Marinette's fellow classmates all looked up at him with big, wide, eyes and their mouths dropped open from the shock of it all.

"All right you _little brats_," Jagged growled, "which one of you is the _un-rock n' roll liar _who claims I have a cat?"

Quickly every student pointed a finger at an exotic brunette in orange. The girl in question merely gulped as Jagged proceeded to rip into her as to _why_ lying is such an un-rock n' roll thing to do and how the next person who made his favourite little designer miserable to the point of potential Akumatisation will be fed to Fang...

**4\. Through Adrien's Bedroom Window**

By this point Jagged had finally mastered the art of jumping through a window that it had become his method of entering any old building.

It was totally rock n' roll.

So when he heard that there was an all guy party at the Agreste estate, Jagged didn't even _think _about it when he smoothly leaped from helicopter to Adrien Agreste's bedroom.

Fang also achieved the leap so casually you'd think he had just jumped onto the sofa.

_It was awesome! _

His only disappointment was that Penny didn't witness it so she would stop worrying about potential broken bones or concussions.

Ah well, there was always the next time.

**5\. On Adrien and Marinette's Wedding Night**

Jagged Stone was late.

_It was so unfair! _

He had this evening planned years and years ago but stupid concert to fund-raise for disaster relief had to fall on the same date his favourite little designer and his...well okay, he was mildly indifferent towards Adrien, but whatever, he made Marinette happy which makes Jagged happy and he was going to prove it with a rock n' roll gift!

Which was why Jagged was hanging from the bottom of a helicopter with a guitar strapped to his back as the helicopter flew through the streets of Paris. He had the hotel room number and (more importantly) he knew where the window for the hotel room was. Jagged grinned manically when the helicopter arrived at it's destination and he swung back and forth in preparation to take his leap.

"ONE...TWO...THREE...!"

_**SMASH!**_

Jagged flew right through the window and was promptly showered in glass once more as he landed onto the bed with a bounce.

"**EEK**!" Marinette screamed.

"_OH MY GOD_!" Adrien bellowed.

Jagged hastily tried to cover his eyes since Marinette and Adrien were clearly un-rock n' roll uncomfortable with being in their underwear in front of him. He just caught a glimpse of (and regretted it instantly) of Marinette's white satin and lace underwear as she scrambled to cover herself up with the duvet. Adrien Agreste – having more experience with strangers staring at his naked chest – hadn't but his cheeks were rapidly turning a brilliant rock n' roll crimson.

"_What the hell, Jagged_?!" Marinette cried out, mortified. "This is my _wedding night_!"

"_Exactly_!" Jagged beamed. "I was unable to serenade you two during your first dance like I promised you but I'm here now to make it up to you by providing the sound track to the consummation of your marriage instead. I'll just keep my back turned and you two keep enjoying yourselves."

True to his word like a real rock n' roll star, Jagged turned round and pulled his guitar off of his back. He then strummed his guitar loud and fast for the opening chords of one of his most rock n' roll romantic songs.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWWWW!"

"**GET OUT**!"

And on that incredibly rude and un-rock n' roll note, Jagged was forcibly thrown out of the hotel room.

_Sheesh!_

Some people were totally un-rock n' roll and ungrateful!


End file.
